I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
