Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
