you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
