Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my being single is dangerous.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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