Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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