I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
