He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize