I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
