So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
