ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
