Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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