Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
