Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
