so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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