that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
