so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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