just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
