i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
