all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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