as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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