So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
