he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
