He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
