definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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