I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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