I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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