I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize