Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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