he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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