I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
