Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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