I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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