i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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