I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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