I think I died a long time ago.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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