whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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