Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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