I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
