I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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