I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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