the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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