Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
