I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
