Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
