Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize