Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
