My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
