i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
