Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i now understand why vodka
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
