I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
