I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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