Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
