I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
