I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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