I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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