Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize