just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
