I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
