Christians are straight up FREAKS
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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