She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
