Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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